


curiouser and curiouser

by owlvsdove



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Gen, Post-Finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-14
Updated: 2015-05-14
Packaged: 2018-03-30 14:24:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3940174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/owlvsdove/pseuds/owlvsdove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(no more dreaming like a girl so in love with the wrong world.)</p>
<p>This is where Jemma goes when she leaves them. </p>
<p>[SPOILERS FOR SEASON TWO FINALE.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	curiouser and curiouser

 

**curiouser and curiouser.  
** no more dreaming like a girl so in love with the wrong world.

 

i. 

Trip doesn’t have a grave, but in the courtyard, with its patchy grass and limited sunlight, there’s a stake in the ground for him. A memorial. He deserves marble and gets wood. A metaphor, really.

To him, to his memory, she whispers it for the first time.

“I have powers.”

She almost smiles, then she almost frowns. “That should’ve been an option for all of us.”

Her knees sink into dirt without any real awareness, but she suddenly feels safer as mud stains her jeans. “You could’ve been a superhero.”

She thinks. “You were one already.”

 

ii.

The lab is still half destroyed from Cal’s rampage. Jemma doesn’t mind. It never felt like her home anyway, not like the Bus had. She and Fitz are side-by-side, so they can build it from scratch again. Ocean pounding imperfections away from stone.

Fitz has stripped down to his undershirt, sledgehammer beating away at lodged debris. This is supposed to stir something in her, she thinks.

There are things her heart wanted to consider not too long ago. Explore and experiment.

These things are going to have to wait.

 

iii.

Mack’s been put in charge of alien tech. Jemma had tried not to feel offended by this.

Getting unfettered access is a challenge; Mack has a tight grip on the misuse of alien objects, and they have a history of mistrust. She smiles at him.

She goes there late at night.

Having overturned the stones of the last few years, Jemma knows that other people on this team have been slinking around under the cover of darkness, keeping secrets.

Keeping secrets from her.

Now it’s her turn.

She doesn’t feel especially good about this; she never had any specific desire for secrets, for an air of mystery about herself. Instead, she’s been confident. Transparent.

But this is bigger than her. Bigger than all of them.

She opens the case – the little glass case, and seeing what she’s seen, she can’t believe they ever thought this would contain it – and the mass welcomes her back inside.

 

iv.

“I looked for you last night,” Skye says. “You weren’t in your room.”

“I was working out.” It’s funny how easy the lies slip out these days.

It’s not actually that funny.

“I checked the gym, too,” Skye says, following her as she zips around the deconstructed lab. “And I know you weren’t with Fitz because he and I share a wall.”

Jemma makes a disgusted face and then careens around the lab table to avoid looking at her any longer. “I don’t know what to tell you, Skye. You must’ve just missed me.”

“You’re full of shit, Jemma.”

Jemma stops, back turned.

“And you’re one of the few people around here who isn’t usually full of shit.”

She closes her eyes.

“I’m going to tell Fitz you listen through the wall.”

Skye sighs.

 

v.

“Bobbi’s doing well,” Jemma comments to Lance, because Lance cares about very little besides Bobbi.

Lance tips his drink to her. “She’s recovering.”

Jemma takes a sip. Lance takes a sip. They do this once a week, because thankfully Lance doesn’t notice that something about Jemma has changed.

 

vi.

She’s not alone here.

Well, she’s alone at the moment. She can feel grass tickling her neck and sun warming her cheeks. It smells of lavender and earth. It is beautiful and serene, and she feels little worry.

But there are other people here, people who walk this world with vacant but pleasant expressions. Like they’re occupied by other things besides the burden of anxiety and pain.

She is different from them.

She’s not sure what it is about her, but she feels aware in a way they are not. She’s spent what feels like months roaming this world, and every individual has the same tinge of silver, their innocence lacquered and preserved.

She’s not jealous. She’s a scientist. She likes reality. She likes facts.

But there’s a comfort in being able to escape.

 

vii.

May comes back after four weeks, and Jemma stands by the door with everyone else with baited breath. Jemma has a feeling that along with all of the work Skye is doing on her team of gifteds, her catch-up session with May will include a little something about erased security footage and Jemma’s newfound evasiveness.

May walks through the door smiling, which weirds everyone out. But no one mentions it, desiring to keep their limbs.

When she gets to Jemma, she hands her a stack of books from Andrew, places a hand on her shoulder, and smiles wider before moving on.

There’s a twinkle in her eye. It used to be rare, but there it is, clear as day.

Jemma’s unwilling to see it extinguished.

Jemma keeps her mouth shut.

 

viii.

This world keeps sending her puzzles.

It sounds strange, but it’s true. The first time, it was a fluke. An adventure. Alice down the rabbit hole and off to Wonderland, once in a lifetime and never again.

But the second time? And the third, fourth fifth? Each more bone-scraping, chest-heaving than the last?

The strings weaving this universe together – they are testing her.

They want something from her.

She is different from these people.

She is different but she doesn’t know why.

 

ix.

One day she returns and they’re all waiting on the outside for her.

 

x.

Every once in a while, she can see shadows beneath the trees. The skies grow dark, the winds harsh. Lavender doesn’t blow through - just copper. Just anger.

Sometimes it’s because the world can smell Skye on her. Sometimes it’s because she runs to the edge of reality and hits a wall.

But the last time? It’s because she takes the reins too assuredly. Reality bends, so she bends it back hard in the other direction. The people here look at her with a longing unrivaled in the real world.

This world - not the one she was born in, but maybe the one she was born for - is afraid of her. Because she can change it.

And that’s what she tells the team.

She can change everything. 


End file.
